Final from Russia

Well, it's finally here - my last day in Russia - my birthday. This is a cool birthday - I was born in 1954 and I'm 54 today!

I spoke at a public school on Wednesday and the kids were great. One young lady said, "You are kidding about being old, right?" I said, "No, I'm about to celebrate my 54th birthday." She said, "No way! My mother is 40 and she looks lots older than you!" So the answer is - yes, coloring your hair helps, but the greatest key is your heart - you're only as old as you are at heart - of course that's scary, because at heart I'm 21 - and do I really want to go through all this again!?! Oh, another student asked what I liked most about Russia and I said, "The chocolate!" They all laughed, and then Wednesday afternoon, Natasha, the assistant counselor at Child in Danger, whose son was in the class at school, brought me a dog puppet that was stuffed full of all kinds of chocolates! Wow!

The kids at Dormitory 70 (photo at right: Me, Natasha and Luda standing; Tatiana, Anya, Nadia, Ilya, Masha, and Lucya seated) were great Thursday night, and Ilya sang a Spanish love song to me and Pam. He is so funny. We started my first night at the dorm with a kiss to the cheek. The second week, it was both cheeks; the third, three cheeks - are you getting the picture here? Last night we lost count, and the counselor started making loud smacking sounds, and the whole place was rolling in laughter (that's better than crying, right?).

Tatiana, the head counselor of the whole dorm, gave me a really cool birthday present, and Luda, one of the girls that is thinking of coming to live at the family home, gave me a silk screen water color that she painted in class. She is studying to be an artist, but is very shy about her work. She is really talented, and I pray that she will be a great success in whatever she does.

Valya, who has returned from her mission trip to Africa (see blog below), cut Masha's and Ilya's hair last night, so we were having "make-over" time as well as English lessons. And Nicola (pictured above), an American who has taught English at one of the universities here, brought Easter eggs for everyone and shared her testimony. After the testimony, which was really amazing, Tatiana said she could not believe that the young woman standing in front of us could have been an alcoholic and drug user during her teens and early twenties. Tatiana then said, "It is amazing what God can do in someone's life. You are a testimony to His great work." Wow!

Today will be a busy day as I move my luggage to Vera and Vova's for transport to the airport at 3:30 a.m. tomorrow morning. They are also planning a birthday bash there tonight; and I will have tea this afternoon at Natasha and Little Anya's new apartment. I got my suitcases packed last night, and yes, all you chocolate fans, one is full of candy - oh, and some really amazing teas I discovered this trip. So pray that no hungry, thirsty luggage inspectors check me out too closely!

God bless you, and keep me in your prayers. Also, Greg, Susan, and Jonathon Furr will be leaving Saturday morning about 10:30, and Patty Adams hopes to get a flight out on Saturday as well (she flies standby because her hubby is a pilot and she gets really cheap tickets, but has to fly standby, so we're never sure when she's coming or going - that didn't sound good!) so keep them lifted up as well.

From Russia with sadness,

Nancy

Saying “Goodbye” to Dormitory 35

I know it’s been a few days since I last wrote, and this event took place on Monday night, but it is hard for me to talk about (or write about) these experiences – I’m just too emotional right now. Part of it is that I’m physically and mentally tired (okay, I admit it, I’m exhausted!), and part of it is that, as we all know, it is hard to say “Goodbye.” It’s hard when you’ve only been on the mission field for one week, or two; but it’s especially difficult when you’ve been here for six weeks – I can’t imagine how those who have been here for a whole 9-month school term will do it! You spend so much time with the same people that they become like family; you travel to the same ministry sites each week and those kids become like family; your family just keeps getting bigger and bigger, and it gets harder and harder to tell them goodbye that last time.

Dormitory 35 is one of the most awful sites I have ever seen in St. Petersburg, and I’ve seen some pretty bad ones. These kids are not even on the “ladder” of anyone’s thoughts – forget the bottom rung, they’re not even standing close to the ladder itself! They have nothing. There are three young people to each room that has three single beds, two or three straight-back chairs, and one desk. Many of the kids are disabled, either physically or mentally, and no one cares whether they wake up in the morning, or whether they return home at night. More than half of them will simply, as Lucya says, “Be disappearing.” They just vanish, and no one looks for them. They just hold the bed open for a few months and then give it to someone else.

All Russian citizens have a room allocated to them – many are from family inheritances; i.e. the family has a set of rooms and one is designated for the child when he/she graduates from school. All of these kids at Dorm 35 have those rooms allocated to them, and people who like to take advantage of uneducated people drive up in their shiny black cars, hold out a bag of money and a piece of paper, and tell the kids, “Hey, just sign this paper and sell me your room; then you can have this bag of money!” Of course, the kids don’t count the money, they don’t seek legal counsel (they don’t even know what that is!), and suddenly they have lost their inheritance, and when they graduate from the dorm they have no place to go.
Little Losha (pictured here in his "new" clothes that were donated by a local church) is one of those people. He came to the family home over a year ago, but was so addicted to his cigarettes (and lying), and so enjoyed his independence, that Marina Topol, the director of Road of Life, had to send him back to the dorm. She and others had thought that once Losha got back to the dorm he would want to return to the security of the family home, but it didn’t work out that way. You see, orphans don’t look at the world like those of us who had the security of a family and home do. They see you, you take them in, they begin to trust you and love you and depend on you, and then when something goes wrong and you punish them, they see it as another abandonment, someone else throwing them away.

Losha will graduate this spring from the dorm and he has no place to go but to a social hotel. This is like a hostel and is where ex-convicts go to live when they get out of prison, where prostitutes live and do business, and where drugs are the norm. On Monday night, Lucya asked Losha would he please return to the family home and he said, “No. I want to live at the social hotel. It will be an adventure.” I think he’s scared – I know I would be – but he’s afraid to again put his trust in us. He sees his being returned to the dorm as our failure, and maybe it is.
Losha, Olga (pictured above with Lucya), and Natasha (pictured below) walked us to the metro from the dorm, because they wanted to be with me as long as they could since it was my last night with them. Losha had sat beside me all evening, tickling me, trying to make me laugh; hugging me at unexpected moments; just making a general nuisance of himself (and I loved every minute of it!). As I stood in the metro saying goodbye to these three precious young people, I grabbed Losha, hugged him, and then placed my hands on each of his cheeks and said, “I love you! We all love you! I will miss you. Do you understand that?” He said, “Yes.” I then told him, “Quit smoking those awful cigarettes because they are killing you in here (I pointed to his chest).” He smiled and nodded; and then I told him, “And beautiful Christian girls don’t like to kiss handsome men with bad cigarette breath!” He again smiled, nodded, and hugged me one last time.

My main rule is that I don’t cry in front of the kids. I want them to remember all of our time together as happy times. That’s why I carry tissues in my pocket the last week; why I cry on the escalator going down to the metro train; why I cry myself to sleep each night. It’s an emotional time, and it’s going to get harder each day. Tonight (Thursday night), I have to say goodbye to the kids at Dormitory 70 – another tough one! Then Friday night I have to be happy as we celebrate my 54th birthday and then cry myself into exhaustion on the plane Saturday as I return home.

Saying “Goodbye” here on earth is hard – isn’t it wonderful that we will never have to say “Goodbye” in heaven! Once we get “home” we’ll be there forever and ever, never having to shed a tear, or wave goodbye, or hug a child for perhaps the last time. Thank You, Father God for the blessings of this trip, and I will always be thankful for the precious lives your have let me be a part of.

From Russia with Love,
Nancy

Thanks, Karen

I just wanted to take a minute to thank Karen Bull for her faithfullness to read the blog and make comments. So often when you post or publish something like this, you are never sure if anyone is out there reading it! Karen has always made a comment or asked a question, so I know that she (if no one else) is reading along and enjoying my journey.

It's good to have faithful, Christian friends, and we can all look forward to her blog when she, her husband John, and their four children come to St. Petersburg to live as Road of Life counselors next September. TALK ABOUT A CHALLENGE! They will need your prayers for sure!

Nancy

Winding Down – 10-9-8-7-6...

It’s hard to believe my time in St. Petersburg is almost done. I have missed everyone back home, but it is going to be so hard to say “Goodbye” this week. So many special people have helped to make this trip a memorable one. Of course, I couldn’t have done any of God’s work without the help of two great translators – Lucya and Anya. I have known them both for over four years, and feel that they are two of my daughters. We talk to each other like mother/daughter, and share many thoughts with each other. I will truly miss them, and the light that they have been in my life these past weeks.

Anya has been offered an internship with the Childrens’ Ministry at Second Baptist Church in Humble, Texas, and we will have more information on that in the next few weeks. Pray that she will see God’s will for her life, as she seeks His guidance in this decision as to whether or not to live in the US for the summer. (Photo: Me, Liza, and Anya at Child in Danger)

Lucya (pictured with Roustik from Child in Danger) is beginning her own ministry, separate from Road of Life. It has been a hard decision to make, but circumstances that were ordained by God have made it easier for her to see His will in many things that have happened over the last few months. As she has spent many hours in Bible study and prayer, God has shown her His great plan for her. She will begin to do work searching for the children to become a part of the transition/family home ministries that are available here. She has so many wonderful contacts and God is opening so many doors that will allow her to see those young people who are in need, and hopefully have a home to place them in. She will be working closely with both Road of Life, based here in St. Petersburg, and also with Reflections of Hope, the ministry that sponsors Gary and Pam Austutz out of Ohio. It is her prayer that God will continue to place the desire in the hearts of Americans to help sponsor more of these homes, so that we can help to save many of the young people who are disappearing each year.

Meisha, who will graduate from ROL this May, shared in his testimony this past weekend how when he graduated from the orphanage and was offered a place at ROL, he declined, because he wanted to live in the dormitory with his friends. But over the next year, as he watched more and more of them simply disappear, never to be heard from again, he realized that suddenly he was alone more and more, and he sought out the safety and hope that was available through ROL. Please pray for the counselors, sponsors, and residents, as well as the transition and family home ministries, that God will continue to provide for more living quarters for them, and for more counselors to come to help teach them how to be productive, Christian men and women.

From Russia with Love,
Nancy

A True Servant

My paternal grandmother, Mama Jewel, was a real stickler about certain things – you take a bath everyday, you honor God and say your prayers, and you try to find some way to serve others. She taught all of us the value of helping others, whether it was opening a door for an older person, or helping someone who had dropped something at the grocery. We were all taught to look for opportunities to serve, because she believed servanthood and sainthood were almost one and the same thing! Mama Jewel would have loved Vera!

This past Friday night we traveled outside of St. Petersburg one hour by bus to a resort on the Gulf of Finland (I would tell you its name, but I can’t spell it and you couldn’t pronounce it anyway!). Most of the Road of Life family attended (there were 28 adults and 2 children), and we invited several young women who are prospective, future family members – Vera was one of those guests.

I first met Vera on a Monday night after my first visit to Dormitory #35. When we left the building to start our walk to the metro, Vera was there waiting for us. She was always faithful to wait for Lucya and the team and walk with us to the metro. Last Monday night, the night that we brought little Marina home with us, Vera saw that we had extra bags to carry, and a child to watch over, so she decided to come all the way home with us. We offered her some soup for dinner, a quick cup of tea, and then she left to head home to the dormitory. On Thursday, she called Lucya and asked if it would be okay for her to come with us on our retreat, and Lucya told her definitely YES. Vera, along with several others, met us at a northern metro site and we made the one hour trek to the resort.

Throughout the evening, and all day Saturday, every time I turned around, Vera was there – ready to take out the trash, sweep the floor, help serve tea to anyone entering the room. When we started home Saturday evening, she told Lucya that she was going to travel home with me because I had a tote bag to carry and she didn’t want me to have to carry my purse and the bag. I told her that I could make it, but she said, “No, I want to help you. You have done so much for me this weekend.” So I invited her to spend the night with us (Masha, a young girl from Orphanage 6 was also planning to spend the night). Her first reaction was no, because she had forgotten to bring her house shoes, and no one enters a Russian home without slippers on. She said she would go to the dorm and get them, but I told her we had plenty of slippers and to just come on home with us.

On Friday night, when I asked Vera if she would like to come live at the family home, she said, “Yes, I would love to live in the family home with these people, but I can’t.” I asked her why she couldn’t and she told me about a young man at Dormitory 35 who is crippled and moves very slowly, and she feels that God wants her to help this young man. She told Lucya, “If I leave, who will help him? He depends on me. I will visit the family home when you will invite me, but I cannot come live there as long as someone at the dormitory needs me.” I told her that God had given her a true gift – the gift of serving others – and she told me, “Yes, I have felt the need to help others for 10 years. I want to always help others.”

I fully expect that the next time I look up the word “servant” in the dictionary I’ll see a picture of Vera as an example!

From Russia with Love!
Nancy

There are all kinds of orphans.

God has truly blessed us tonight. He has given us Little Marina to come to stay with us for the next three nights (a three-night-orphan is still an orphan, and we have made her a part of our family). You may remember the story of Natasha that I told you – she is the tram driver who was involved in the accident written about below where the 23 year old died. You can imagine the psychological stress that Natasha has been under for the past three weeks, and last Monday night she asked Lucya, “Will you take my daughter Marina?” At first Lucya did not know how to respond, and she told me about it the next day. We have continued to pray, and God orchestrated not only for Marina to come and stay with us for the next three nights, but to join us in our ministry this week at Hospital #15 and Child in Danger.

We had originally planned to be at Fuydor Shelter for Homeless Children, and it would not have been safe to take Marina there, but God already had a plan in action for us not to go to Fuydor, but to do Hospital 15 and CID instead. At these two places Marina will just be another child joining in the games, singing, and making crafts.

As I am writing this, she is in a bubble bath with a crown of bubbles on her head. She has laughed more in the last two hours than probably in her entire life. When we first met her last Monday she was withdrawn and would not even smile when offered candy. All of you who know Lucya know that if she cannot get a child to smile, then no one can! It seemed hopeless to us. Tonight, I presented Marina with a small backpack with colored pens and two coloring book – she and Anya made quite a bit of progress in their coloring tonight! But even then, a quiet thank you, but no smile.

At first she cried when her mother said that she would stay with Lucya, but when we got home and Marina met Sarah (the cat that belongs to our Marina), she began to run and play, just like a normal 5 year old. And Nadezda, the director at CID, has said that she will have a psychologist visit with Marina tomorrow and that Natasha can bring her anytime that she needs some rest, and Marina will be welcome there. We thank God that he has placed this special child of his in charge of Child in Danger – Nadezda is truly a special lady!

It is wonderful that God has placed Christians here ready to serve, ready to take in a child, ready to give a mother a “vacation” (even if it only means a couple days of rest). We thank God for the chance to love this sweet child, and we ask that you pray for her and her family, just as we prayed with Natasha when she left our home tonight – leaving behind her most treasured possession for us to guard and keep.

By the way, when Lucya put Marina to bed, Marina said, "Can I tell you a secret?" And Lucya replied, "Yes, of course." Marina then told her, "My mama beats me. Sometimes when I am bad she grabs me a throws me against the wall." Lucya asked her, "What about your papa?" and Marina replied, "No. He punishes me, but he does not hit me." Please pray for Marina and her family, and that God will help us to find help for Natasha.

I always said when I was a young adult, before I had children, that I could never understand how a parent could hurt a child. Then, after I had my own, and would find myself so tired, and so frustrated, that many times I had to leave the room and go be by myself to pray, "God, please do not let me lift my hand to my child! Help me, Father! Help me!" That's when I realized that I was one of the lucky ones - I had a Heavenly Father to turn to who would help me through those times. And because of His grace and His mercy, I never did give in to the temptation to take my frustrations out on my children. I also knew that for every time God helped me through that time, there were millions of mothers who did not have Him to stay their hand, and their children suffered. Thank you, God, for being my loving Father!

From Russia with Love!
Nancy

It doesn't get any better than this!

What a mighty God we serve! As you know, we have been sponsoring a movie night for the older kids at Child in Danger Shelter (CID) for the past few weeks. This past Friday night we took them to a Christian hip hop concert lead by the youth leadership at New Generation Church. The kids loved it! And the best news - four of them accepted Jesus during the concert! Sasha and Vashya (picture), both boys, about 11/12 years of age, raised their hands when asked if they had prayed for the first time; but they were too shy to go forward and be recognized, so Galya (she dresses in baggy clothes, her hair is many different colors, and she has several body piercings - these are all outward appearances - who loves God and ministers to street people) went over to them and talked briefly with them, inviting them back next Friday night.

Liza, a precious young girl of 12, told Lena that she was praying the prayer until Victor said "...and give me a new heart, oh God" at which time she said she stopped because she didn't think she needed to go that far - she said her heart beat just fine and she didn't think she needed to get a new one. Lena explained to her what he had meant and Liza laughed and said, "Oh, well, then, yes, I want THAT new heart!" Sometimes we forget that the Christian phrases we use are like a foreign language to people who weren't raised in the church.

The fourth new Christian was Katya. She will graduate this year from high school and wants to be a doctor. She is very smart, and she and Lena seemed to really make a connection when we went bowling the first week I was here. Katya did not hesitate to go forward when Victor asked who had accepted Jesus, and she wants to go back to youth night each Friday night and attend church with Lena and the other ROL kids. Katya will also go with us this coming weekend on a retreat that we are having for the ROL family and some prospective new family members.

Sunday was a great day as we got to be a part of Losha's baptism. Losha is the deaf resident at the Frunzenskaya apartment and he and Meisha (the other resident at Fr.) attended a retreat this past weekend at Vineyard Church. A group of 6 of us traveled the one hour bus ride to be there for worship services and the baptism on Sunday. We are so proud of Losha and know that God is going to do great things through him in the deaf community here in St. Petersburg. So keep him in your prayers.

God is good and keeps blessing and blessing! Pray for Greg, Susan, and Jonathon Furr who arrived on Saturday and will minister with me this week here in StP, and then will travel to Sosnova with John Neese next week to work at the orphanage up there. They will have a busy two weeks, as will I, as I get ready to wind down this trip.

From Russia with love,

Nancy